Steadman Family

The stockings are hung, the house is decked out and the girls have visions of sugar plums (and robo-panda's) dancing through their heads. We're getting ready to host our Christmas Eve party which is surprisingly small this year - only twenty people coming!

It's been a good year here at Chez Steadman and we're thankful to have two smiling (okay, one smiling & one crying) little girls. We'll remember 07 as the year that we:

• marked the first anniversary of Ben's death
• watched Lily crawl, walk and run
• lost my dad to cancer
  
• enjoyed Madie losing her first tooth
• enjoyed Lily getting her first tooth
• sent Madie off to first grade
• knocked Melinda up - again

Hope that everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday.

Alex Kasnoff died yesterday and I haven't really been able to write about until now (not sure if it's early in the morning or late in the day at this point). Please keep the Kasnoff family in your thoughts.

Viewing/Visitation will be this Friday from 5:30 pm to 8 pm at Moore Howard Funeral Chapel at 4345 West 46th Avenue, Denver, CO 80212. Memorial service will be held on Saturday at the same location at 10am.

They ask that donations be made in Alex's memory to support Children's Hospital of Denver where he and Ben both were treated.

Neuro Oncology Research Fund
Children's Hospital
13123 E 16th Ave
Aurora, CO 80045
Attn: Amy Wilson - Box 115

Thanks

Reading Alex Kasnoff's blog this evening brought me back to a painful moment as we prepared for Ben's death. It was the Monday evening after Ben's last trip to see Dr. Foreman at Children's Hospital in Denver that I wrote the following:

"I’ve been asking for some mercy to save him from slowly wasting away and it looks like my prayers are being answered.

We’re preparing Ben and Madie with the information that they need to face the events to come. I have no idea exactly what that means, but I know in my heart that Ben will be free from his cancer and pain. I have faith in an existence beyond our understanding and find comfort with Ben knowing more about it than I do. I am blessed to have had this time to learn from him."

It was the hardest thing for me to do as a father. To let go of Ben and accept that he was going to die; to acknowledge that I had no ability to protect him; no way make things better; to offer him any comfort beyond my own fear and knowledge of our mortality; and to openly beg for my son not to suffer any further. Mercy isn't a word that anyone should have to use.

My heart breaks to hear that Alex's parents Gwen and Steve are now making the same prayers. Their family is never far from my thoughts.