Steadman Family

Please join us in celebrating Ben’s life on Tuesday, April 4^th at the First Evangelical Lutheran Church at 803 3^rd Ave., Longmont, CO. Viewing starts at 12:30; services start at 2:00 followed by a chocolate filled celebration (don’t miss this part!).

A few requests…

We’re asking everyone to wear something yellow to the celebration as it was Ben’s favorite color. No need to purchase a yellow suit ("it's the new beige") – just add a ribbon or tasteful hat.

I’ve got two moms and a dad with past careers in the flower business. Please make a contribution to one of the following in lieu of flowers:

Children’s Hospital – none of our adventures or memories over the last seven months would have been possible if not for the dedication of the doctors, nurses and volunteers at The Children’s Hospital of Denver.

Ben’s Secret Garden – Ben loved the Memorial Garden at Anshutz Cancer Center where he had his radiation treatment. We’re placing a plaque in the garden for him as well as planting our own “secret garden” here at home. Donations can be mailed to The Steadman’s at 5893 Sparrow Ave., Firestone, CO 80504.

We look forward to a full house on Tuesday and send our thanks to everyone for their love and support.

Melinda was crying when I awoke this morning. Ben spent the night snuggled in between us. She asked me for assurance that we’d all be together again. We placed our hands on Ben’s heart and discussed what heaven is and how to define it for Ben and Madie. We agreed that it would be heaven to spend eternity with our family and that Ben will be an angel waiting to greet us. His heart stopped and we saw him peacefully leave for the place we described.

Ben was born on Aug. 11^th, 1999 – during a solar eclipse. He died on Mar. 29^th, 2006 – during a solar eclipse. We were fortunate to have six loving years with him. He’s taught me to be a father, a better husband and a better man.

I want to thank everyone for the support that has been provided to our family. You made Ben’s life beautiful and we’re happy to have had the chance to share it with you. I intend to spend the rest of my life repaying the love that you have shared with us.

Ben’s tumor has grown by more than 50% in the last three weeks. The IV line that was installed today should help us have more control over his pain and vomiting. Dr. Foreman says that we need to think of Ben’s remaining time in days instead of weeks. I’ve been asking for some mercy to save him from slowly wasting away and it looks like my prayers are being answered.

We’re preparing Ben and Madie with the information that they need to face the events to come. I have no idea exactly what that means, but I know in my heart that Ben will be free from his cancer and pain. I have faith in an existence beyond our understanding and find comfort with Ben knowing more about it than I do. I am blessed to have had this time to learn from him.

We remain focused on keeping Ben comfortable. Thank you for respecting our privacy and using the comments here to send us your love.

I've been working on this post for a while now. I don't feel like writing tonight, but I need to get this out.

Ben started having headaches Friday morning. He's had a few headaches before, but we could tell that this was different. He was extremely tired and didn't want to eat. He vomited up all the pain medications we tried. Our hospice nurse gave us some medicine to control the vomiting and pain. He's spent the last three days mostly asleep. We're heading into Children's Hospital tomorrow morning for a quick CT scan to check for pressure in his ventricles and to get a direct IV line for medications.

Not sure what else to say at this point.

Ben is still strong and gets around without too many falls despite the near paralysis of his right side. He's had a few headaches that we've been able to control with Motrin. We have a store of stronger pain meds from the hospice nurses that we haven't had to reach for yet. He gets frustrated with the constant offerings of help from us and the problems he has using his right hand.

Melinda had her first ultrasound of the baby yesterday. They're both doing great and the baby is the exact size it should be for eleven weeks. Ben and Madie loved hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time, but were a little let down that there's only one baby as they were sure it would be twins. Better luck next time, kids.

Madie has her fifth annual checkup next week, but we haven't told her about the booster shots yet. Melinda has enrolled her in a second day of gymnastics every week to keep her activities going.

I've had several doctor appointments this week dealing with my blood pressure. I'll spare you the details on wonderful tests I've had (and still have to come). The good news is that I'm aware of the problem and that my doctor is working with me to keep my pressure out of the stratosphere.

In summary, Ben is stable; Melinda and baby are growing; Madie is head over heals with gymnastics; and I'm taking care of myself. 

We decided to have a Very Merry Un-Birthday Party for Ben and his classmates last Friday at a local Chuck E. Cheese. What a blast! Approx. 20 kids showed up (incluing some of Madie's friends) to party down with pizza, pop, and games galore. I must say that Chuck E. Cheese knows how to throw a party, and were a great help with managing everything. All the kids brought presents that they all got to exchange (since it was technically everyone's unbirthday). A big thank you goes out to all of the parents for coming on such short notice. You helped make it a night we will never forget (along with the fact that channel 4 news filmed almost everything).

We would like to ask any of the parents who were able to take pictures, to please e-mail or send us copies, as we have very few and would like as many as we can get.

Anyone looking for an excuse to have a party, I highly recommend having an Un-Birthday Party!!

Our local paper did an article on Ben today. I was a little anxious about the story before the interview, but it was really well done. Many thanks to Laurel and Erin for doing such a wonderful thing for Ben.

And a local TV station will be attending our "Unbirthday Party" at Chuck E. Cheese's for Ben's classmates this evening. We'll have our Tivo set to record it and I'll work on getting a copy online for you out-of-state folks.

Update:

The video is now online here.

  When Ben had his radiation treatments down at Fitzsimmons hospital, my mother took the kids to see the "secret garden". It was a wonderful garden for the chemo patients to gaze upon while recieving their treatments, or for anyone to enjoy. Since then, the kids have been bugging us to make a "secret garden" of their own. With the sudden turn of events and the harsh reality that lies before us, I've realized how important this project could be to this family. If it can be done in time with Ben's help (mostly at picking plants and helping to plant them), it would give us a place to go to be closer to him. I also think it would help Madie to cope in numerous ways. Anyway, since I really have no idea how or where to begin, I figure my best bet may be to hire a landscape designer to help get things started. If anyone knows of a good one who won't charge me a fortune, please share their info. with me asap. Also, please feel free to share any other ideas or info. Time is the biggest concern since theres no telling how much we have. My e-mail address is melsteadman@mesanetworks.net and its usually the best way to get my attention.

Have a Happy St. Patricks Day!!

Melinda

Anna Rose Enssle was born last night and we couldn't be happier for my cousin Neal and his wife Tara. Ben and Madie are climbing the walls, so we're getting ready to go meet the newest family member.

My brother Pat and his business partner Fofi used their Jack Abramoff-like lobbyist powers for good and arranged for Ben to feed the elephants at The Denver Zoo. The zoo staff was amazing and went out of their way to make Ben’s wish come true. He was a little scared, but you’re supposed to be around 10,000 and 7,000 pound elephants.

Hold on to your trunk - we got lots of pics...

Grandma Pat gets into the action

Uncle Pat gets a turn

Doesn't she have beautiful eyes? And Melinda's aren't bad either.
(Note to self - get blankets in preparation to sleep on the couch).

Two words - elephant breath.

Grandpa Mike & Grandpa Bill surround themselves with women in order to fight off the winter chill.

Uncle Pete doing his job as Ben's personal carriage.

Popsicle the polar bear makes another appearance at a Steadman Family event.