A Celebration
Please join us in celebrating Ben’s life on Tuesday, April 4th at the First Evangelical Lutheran Church at 803 3rd Ave., Longmont, CO. Viewing starts at 12:30; services start at 2:00 followed by a chocolate filled celebration (don’t miss this part!).
A few requests…
We’re asking everyone to wear something yellow to the celebration as it was Ben’s favorite color. No need to purchase a yellow suit (“it’s the new beige“) – just add a ribbon or tasteful hat.
I’ve got two moms and a dad with past careers in the flower business. Please make a contribution to one of the following in lieu of flowers:
Children’s Hospital – none of our adventures or memories over the last seven months would have been possible if not for the dedication of the doctors, nurses and volunteers at The Children’s Hospital of Denver.
Ben’s Secret Garden – Ben loved the Memorial Garden at Anshutz Cancer Center where he had his radiation treatment. We’re placing a plaque in the garden for him as well as planting our own “secret garden” here at home. Donations can be mailed to The Steadman’s at 5893 Sparrow Ave., Firestone, CO 80504.
We look forward to a full house on Tuesday and send our thanks to everyone for their love and support.
What a beautiful way to celebrate, You both are truly amazing in your courage & strength ! May God Bless your family always……..
So sorry that I am going to be 1000 miles away that day. But my heart is right here with you.
Love you guys!!! I wouldn’t miss this time to celebrate Ben’s life.
Celebrating Ben….the best way is to remember all the fun times we have had. Abe and I were talking about happy memories of Ben and the one that stands out the most in our minds is a very cute story. Ben was about 4 - 4 1/2, and Madie and Daphne were upstairs in Madies room playing dress up. Well Ben being the great kid he is wanted to play too. So they all dressed up and came out of the room for a quick impromtu fashion show. The girls were both wearing tutu’s and princess clothes. Then out of the room comes Ben, wearing the biggest Tutu, had the prettiest crown, and the biggest wand. HE looked down the small flight of Stairs and said “aren’t I the prettiest” The entire group of adults in the room just smiled back, tried not to laugh to hard, him and said…”Yes, Ben…you are the prettiest person in the room.”
Everytime I have thought of that moment it has always brought a giggle to my heart, more so now than ever. It also taught me to love, because no matter the kids in the house, Ben would play whatever game the mast majority was into, becuase he loved to play. Whether it was car races, hiding from monsters the stairs (a.k.a. uncle Pete) or playing dress up.
My hats off to you little buddy, you will be sorrowly missed, but fondly remembered.
Love to you
Shan, Abe and Quinn
Your family is in our hearts and prayers today. We have such fond memories of you all. I am so sorry that we are far away but will be thinking of you all next week as you say a fond farewell to Ben. I will be wearing yellow for him too.
Much Love to all the family.
Thank you for sharing some of your private moments, and something that you will all charish as life goes on. It makes us appreciate the gifts that lifes gives, and sometimes takes away too soon.
I have not met your family and or Ben. But looking at the photos, and hearing the story, I know that he must of lit up a room. And having spent some time down at Ronald McDonald house, supporting the wonderful things that Childrens Hospital does on a daily basis. I can see that Ben was yet another wonderful child that has a inner strength that comes from somewhere that we can only guess, that the Angels at Childrens have touched.
My love and support comes from my heart to your family. And I hope that you are showered with more of this, since it may seem to be a little, but it is an incredible healing power. And that your family and friends, and yes, even our little community of tri town will send their love your way.
Chris
Dean and Melinda, I don’t know if you feel this way about yourselves right now, but your family is truly amazing!! I am so impressed with the care and concern you have for others, the way you all have communicated through this has allowed something terrible to change people’s lives for the better. It reminds us all to love more than we thought we could or should today. We are so sorry that we can’t make it to your celebration. We can only imagine how beautiful it will be.
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I love your site and your wonderful story of love.
I truly am sorry for your lost. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God comfort you and bless you with His love and guidance.
When my husband was sick and in the hospital for over 3 months, I asked God to make his suffering and pain go away and he did 2 days later. He was commenced to the Father and is suffering no more. I miss him, but I know that he is in a better place.
Take care and much Aloha to all of you.
I am finding it hard not ot drown in the feeling that all of this is not fair, not right, definitely never should have happened to anyone as wonderful as all of you are. I am still really lost and confused about all of it. But I do have to grant one thing to this whole experience. Every person I know that knew Ben and even every person I can think of who only knows of Ben, everyone will count each day as a special blessing because we are lucky to have it. Not one of us will likely waste as much energy and time on the trivial and irrelevant annoyances. We will cherish our loved ones, revel in each beautiful sunny day, and find joy in every moment we can…because Ben showed us all how and why they are so precious. He will be in the forefront of all our minds for a very long time, and always in our memories forever. He is like our own special spiritual leader and his message is all about love, innocence, kindness, joy, and peace. When I really think about it, I wish he would have lived 100 years, but I can not imagine how a single human being could have affect my life more than Ben in his 6 short years on this earth. I am lost in the grief and pain I feel for all of you and all of us who are left behind Ben, but I am so grateful to have had the honor of learning from him while he was here. Somehow, it just makes it a little easier to breath to get that all out.
I am so sorry for your loss. I came by your blog via Genunie’s blog. I actually live near the Longmont area in Greeley. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you will have all the support of friends and family at this time and always. I don’t know you at all but via this blog, but know that there are many ppl like me sending love and prayers your way.
God Bless you and your family. Benjamin’s angelic spirit will follow you until you are together again.
You are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this unimaginably difficult experience. It is so clear from your entries that Ben was a lucky boy to have been born to parents like you. I wish I had the words to bring comfort. Please know that your sharing your journey has inspired - and will continue to inspire - all who visit here.
I can even begin to comprehend the scope of the loss you must all feel. A child is precious gift from God that we wish to hold forever. I am reminded by my SIL’s words “our children are not ours, they are God’s and he can reclaim them whenever he deems fit.” Nothing could suite this situation better right now. I will pray for your family and that you may heal in due time, cherish his memory, love him always and know that he now safe and pain free.
my condolences and prayers are with your family. your celebraton of the life he lived surely gives him much joy. i hope you are comforted by the belief that he was taken away so that he would no longer suffer and instead play happily among god’s angels in his garden in heaven.
Ben will surely come to lead you to the Pearly Gates, skipping and smiling all the way, when your turn comes to join him.
God bless and comfort you in this time of need.
I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel in this moment~but I will pray for you and your family, and wish that I could be there to offer some comfort.
It seems like much love is coming your way.
Hi,
Found my way here along a chain of caring and concerned people; add me to their number. I hope and pray the joy and strength in store for you in times ahead - this life and beyond - will exceed any present sadness as the depths of all the oceans of the world outweigh a single drop of rain.
Grace and peace to you.
It sounds like a wonderful celebration! My thouhgts and prayers are with you and you family during this difficult time.
May God give you and your family strength to get through this new phase of your lives. Thank you for sharing your loss. Whether you intended it or not, you are helping others who are going through the same experience.
May God’s love give you strength.
To All Parents
by Edgar Guest
“I’ll lend you for a little time a child of mine,” He said,
“For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he’s dead.
“It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
“But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
“He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief,
“You’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
“I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
“But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.
“I’ve looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
“And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes I have selected you.
“Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,
“Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again?”
I fancied that I heard them say: “Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
“For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we’ll run.
“We’ll shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may,
“And for the happiness we’ve known forever grateful stay;
“But shall the angels call for him much sooner than we’ve planned,
“We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.”
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. That sounds so breezy and cliched, but I mean it truly. Your son and your family’s story has touched my heart. I will keep you all in my prayers.
May God be with you and your family. Words cannot express my feelings. I send my thoughts and prayers from our family in New York City.
I am so sorry for your loss. Two weeks ago my friend lost her beautiful 30 year daughter. Our children should not go before us.
I am so sorry for your lost. I can imagine no greater pain than the loss of a child. I wish i could do more than say that i’m sorry and my heart goes out to you…
I hope, with all my heart, that you can find peace and happiness, and fiil the void with good memories…
You will be in my thoughts as you celebrate Ben’s Life…
I’m so sorry about Ben. You have lots of courage. Celebrating Ben’s life is good. Yall will be in my prayers and my Mom’s too.
I am so terribly sorry for your painful loss. Squeeze Madeline tight. Know that you all are in the thoughts and prayers of many.
Our deepest sympathies and our prayers go out to your family. Ben will be smiling down from above during this celebration of his life.
Just wanted to let you know I said a prayer for you. God Bless you
My condolences and best wishes to your family, always.
A great deal of people are feeling your loss. Thats how i found my way here. I am sorry for your loss, but im sure you’ll be together again.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers during this time.
God Bless
I just found your site today through Three Kid Circus and The Genuines. I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I will be sending warm thoughts and prayers your way. Amazingly, I grew up in Firestone so I know you are surrounded by a community that will support your family in this tough time.
God bless you.
When I was explaining to my 6 year old niece about Ben today, She said ” You know Aunt Jilly, if God made Ben stop playing and come home early he probably had something REALLY important for him to do in heaven.”
Much love and support!
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with your family. I wish I could have known and played with your incredible son. I found your website in looking for resources for my cousin, whose 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with diffuse pontine glioma 5 days ago. I will save trhis site for him when the time comes. Just as for my cousin, I wish there was something more I could offer, but know that your son’s memory will color all the rest of my days.
Melinda, I don’t know if you remember me, but I worked with you at Nextel over 7 years ago. I left Nextel when my oldest daughter was born 3 months early in April 1999. Anyway, I heard from Suzanne Pierce and Kara Henry about Ben. I had been praying for Ben that he would recover these past couple of months. I know this is a very difficult time for you and your family and I just wanted to say, I am truly sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and Dean that God will bring you comfort in this time of sorrow. I may not be there with you in person tomorrow, but I will be there in spirit. Karen Constance
I came by your blog via Genunie’s blog.
Our family is so very very sorry for you loss of Ben. Our heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you. I have lit a candle for Ben today. The candle is by a picture of our daughter who we lost to non-smokers lung cancer in October. We will be thinking of you and all your friends during this difficult time.
http://lauriannes-hope.blogspot.com/
Josie Koning
Santa Rosa, CA
Dean and Melinda - and Madeleine.
I hope the day was all you hoped for - and all that Ben would have enjoyed. Yellow sounds excellent, every shade a nuance of Spring.
And I’m sorry I missed the chocolate filled celebration, but the UK is a bit far.
I came here today via Genuine’s blog. I would’ve come earlier, but I didn’t like to intrude on your grief.
[hugs]
You are all in my prayers
cq
Steadman Family,
I want to thank you for the wonderful celebration you held in honor of Ben today. Of course there were tears, but there was also laughter, and I don’t think a person could go on without that. The amount of yellow was amazing - I would have never thought that so many people had yellow in their wardrobes, especially the men!
You do not know me and my family has never met Ben, but my daughter is in the afternoon Kindergarten class at Carbon Valley Academy, so we have known of you for several months. I only wish that I had known of your blog from the beginning. I didn’t know about it until last Wednesday after visiting the school’s website and finding the link. It made reading the past entries even more bittersweet and I wish I had been able to read those when they were posted and be happy for the moments then.
I have sat in front of your website on and off for the past several days now…wondering what I should write, if I should write. After all, I would only echo what’s already been written here. But, alas, I knew that I needed to write. But I wanted to wait until I could thank you for the wonderful event today, including the chocolate, which my kids ate WAY too much of (OK, I did, too!)! But what a great way to honor such a blessed life!
I do want to tell you about the balloons that were released. We left the reception area and were at the stoplight at 3rd Ave. and Terry, turning east to go home to Firestone. Then I saw the balloons, which looked so awesome! The wind was blowing just enough to carry them east so we kept an eye on them. They “followed” us and were able to keep up with us because of the the red stoplights that we came to. They got smaller and smaller but we were able to still see them and when we got a little far ahead of them, I turned on the road that leads to Longview mobile home community, so they could catch up. Well, of course, by the time I got turned around so we could continue home, we could no longer see them…but I couldn’t help but think that they were perhaps guided by unseen child hands, heading “home” to watch over your family along with that precious little angel grabbed a hold of them and led them there. Maybe some people wouldn’t make much of our little “adventure” today…but I think I know better. *smile*
After rambling on longer than I intended, I will close letting you know that you have truly touched many people, more than you could imagine, many of them strangers like us. Keep the laughter in your hearts and home and enjoy Madeline and the upcoming baby. I know you will remember Ben for always - what a perfect family he was given to for his lifetime. Our hearts go out to you, as well as our prayers, thoughts, hope and well wishes. Take care of yourselves, and each other.
Sincerely,
Kim
Dear Steadmans,
What a beautiful celebration you had for precious Ben. Everything was perfect, the location, the music, the verses, the memories, the pictures, wow! We were seated at the back of the church and it was breathtaking to see all the yellow worn by the people who love Ben and your family surrounded by all the stained glass windows. Ashley and I are truely thankful that God allowed our lives to cross and you have allowed us to be part of Ben’s journey. I have so many things to thank you for… thank you for sharing your wonderful children with us, thank you for helping me become a better parent by the example you have set, thank you for letting me be one of Madie’s teachers and thank you for letting us know Ben. God has used him to touch many lives and he has taught us many things. We love him and he will be rememberd forever. Last Friday and Saturday as Ashley and I were pulling out of our subdivision, we looked to the north and saw a hot air balloon. Two days in a row! I’m sorry that Ben did not get to take his balloon ride that we arranged for him. We felt comforted at that moment and felt Ben’s pressence. When our hearts become heavy with grief, we think about how much you said he and Madie loved the “secret graden” at the hospital where he received his treatments. As we celebrate his life on earth, there is also a celebration going on in heaven where Ben is playing in the “secret garden” that God has prepared for him. We will continue to pray for your family as you continue on this journey. You have many people who love you and would do anything to help bring you comfort during this part of the journey. Please let us know if you need anything. Thank you again for showing us all how to live, love and laugh.
We love you all!
Jodi, Ashley and Family
Dear Madie,
You are one of my best friends and I will always love you. You always put a smile on my face and make me laugh. I am sorry about your big brother Ben. I know you will miss him. He was lucky to have a sister like you. I will be parying for you.
Love
Ashley